Stalin Hitler No Friend Anymore!

STALIN AND HITLER NO FRIEND ANYMORE!!
Hitler say Stalin, why you no have flushing toilet?!
Stalin say, Why?! Have perfectly good plank and hole?!
Hitler say Stalin is of civilization way to have flushing toilet.
Stalin say NO I AM STALIN! I AM RIGHT YOU WRONG FLUSHING TOILET IS OF NOT SUPERIOR TO PLANK AN HOLE!
Hitler say But Stalin you can make man who pull splinter out of ass make tank if you have toilet.
Stalin say HITLER THIS WHY YOU NO HAVE SOVIET PREMIERESHIP AND ONLY GERMAN!!!

Stalin beat inferior Hitler with Communism hands of great strength!

Hitler say Stalin, you no know what talking about!!!
Stalin call for guard
Stalin make Hitler go back to station of iron giant and take train. Train is still of broken. Stalin have peasant gypsy circus who make bad iron giant push hitler in lock train back to Germany.

Gypsy circus push locked train with Hitler back to Germany

Hitler come over

Today good day. Hitler coming. Hitler is best of friend. I have servant draw great I ten Airy for me and Hitler. Here is I ten airy for visit.

8am: Hitler arrive by train. Stalin there to greet. Stalin say, "Hitler you is of best friend!" and Hitler and Stalin share of close embrace.

9am: Stalin take Hitler to movie palace. Is really shed behind Kremlin next to outhouse. To see great movie in Russia. Iron Giant. Stalin think Hitler will love

10am: Stalin execute projectionist for bad sound. Hitler laugh and say has look of Jew.

11am: Stalin take Hitler to tour KGB and laugh at American OSS. Hitler find Stalin joke of most funny.

12pm: Stalin take Hitler to McKruschevs for lunch. They have each Big Castro. Is American burger but government own all meat. Hitler say he is of vegetarian. Stalin say NO NO ALLY OF STALIN VETERINARIAN. Stalin make sure Hitler clean plate. For reward Stalin make smiley face out of blood of Jew.

1pm: Stalin take Hitler to review miliatary. Hitler say very impressed. He take many note and ask how many round ammo we produce day and were. I tell him we proudly make two each day. He smile. I think very impressed.

2pm: Stalin take Hitler to place with train to see Soviet mechanical might and cow of Iron Giant. Unfortunately Soviet Train not working today. Stalin get very upset. IS ONLY TRAIN IN COUNTRY HOW YOU BREAK?! Hitler say it probably Jew. Stalin agree.

3pm: Stalin and Hitler have watercolor fingerpaint contest. Stalin win. Hitler say his is better but Stalin say NO IS NO BETTER WHY VIENNA NO LIKE YOU IF BETTER?!

4pm: Nap Time

6pm: Stalin and Hitler of making dinner together with close eye of stalin guard. Hitler want to examine Stalin guard weapon. Stalin guard weapon only have three scratches!! Is of best weapon in all of Russia. Hitler smile. Stalin think impressed.

7pm-9pm; Hitler and Stalin of watching american film birth of nation. Stalin and hitler agree Jew is problem.

Stalin watch Iron Giant film of evil American Capitalism with new best of friend Hitler

9pm: Guard come to tuck Stalin and Hitler in bed.

10pm: Lights out.

Was of good day.

Yoga Confrence

Today Stalin wake up to sound of servant tell me it is day to meet with evil American capitalist president Roosterbelts and greedy round angry heifer Mr. Churchill at yoga conference in Kremlin. (Stalin not know why he is call of Churchill, Stalin disagree, he is too big and noisy to fit in church building of great size.) I tell servant "Stalin no like yoga much and Kremlin only crossing of street so Stalin sleep for more time." He say, "no Stalin is not Kremlin, is Crimea, place of poor dirty gypsy country of Ukraine!" I look in eye and tell him "No!" and have guards take him to secret castle far far away. Guard then come and tell me gypsy village finish make the life size Iron Giant poster Stalin always dream of; it as tall as Stalin, 6 foot of height. I jump out of bed and go to gypsy village as fast as can. Many horse die in much speed, but is worth to get poster of Iron Giant!

Stalin forced to ride on horse because gypsies touch train station with filthy gypsy hands

When Stalin get to gypsy village they show Iron Giant poster. I look at poster and immediately become sad; it too small and very bad, not like Stalin want. In punishment Stalin tell guard to burn gypsy village crops of many corn. Many people cry say, "no Stalin we will go very hungry if you do!" I say, "no is very funny, you see and watch." While crops burn in giant fire it remind me of fire of communism that spread so great. I say, "look gypsy, is great success!" They cry more and say "why you do Stalin? You ruin whole year of food supply!" I tell them "if not find funny then make better Iron Giant Poster that is 8 foot of height, as tall as Stalin!" I say, "if make good Iron Giant poster I only burn half crop next time." I tell them I come back after I go to yoga conference to win great triumph against capitalist Roosterbelts and always noisy Winnie Churchill. I tell them "I burn down gypsy house if do not make better iron giant poster when I arrive back." They cry but understand, Stalin knows best. Stalin is very great leader, he is 10 foot of height!

When I get to yoga conference Roosterbelts and whiny Churchill tell great news, they tell Stalin he is to get land of Germany. I tell them, "you make correct choice to let Stalin have country of Germany. Your lives will be spared when Stalin win with communism." But then Roosterbelts and annoying Churchill tell me very sneaky news, they say "no Stalin, you do not get all Germany, we divide Germany up on map, we all take." They say, "look at map Stalin!" Stalin look at map and immediately become sad; it too small and very bad, not like Stalin want. I tell them "Stalin see your trickery! You only give communism one part and give greedy capitalist of three parts! City of Berlin is in communism part too, you try to be sneaky and draw capitalism in Berlin on map; but Stalin know is no fair" Stalin know small part of Germany cannot fit Stalin who is 12 foot of height.

Stalin is very unhappy with capitalist scheme

Roosterbelts and whiny-face Churchill say "We sorry Stalin, is way is to be." "Is not fair!" I yell. I tell guard "Go burn all crop of all capitalist Germany as punishment!!!" Guard say "no Stalin we cant do! Is only start another war Stalin!" "But is not fair! I do not care! This is no fair for Stalin!" I yell, knowing is of capitalist scheming. Stalin leave Rosterbelts and annoying Churchill and tell them "I build big wall in Germany city of Berlin, so you can no come to play with Stalin any more!" I say "wall will be 14 feet, as exact height of Stalin." Roosterbelts and crybaby Churchill no more friend with Stalin, they be sad very soon.

I have guard stop by gypsy village on way back and burn down houses anyway. Gypsy cry and watch village burn down to know how Stalin feel about capitalist scheming of Germany. Is not fair!

"Still is very funny" -Stalin

Lenin come to play

Today guards made time for lenin to come to play at house that belongs to me.

After we watch Iron Giant film. Lenin show me the nintendo of 64 game he get from american capitalist website. It is game of pokemon snap. we have very fun time with game and go around executing pokemon with camera device. the professor man in pokemon execution lab give us new target to kill every time we do good mission.

Stalin tell Lenin of great American Capitalist film Iron Giant

 After we beat game we go to bridge and have fun by throw the rocks at jew. I tell lenin he get good score if he hit peasant to. It is like the nintendo game he bring to house I tell him. Then I get idea.

I get guard to destroy city house that is in way of bridge and build giant slingshot. I get peasant and tell him to get in slingshot or i kill family. unfortunately brain of lenin is no good and slingshot throw man into river with pigs. Lenin tell me it was idea of mine. I tell guard to make lenin stop lie, so lenin tell truth about idea. he is very sneaky lenin.

today was also day that boat of food try to come from america. Lenin help me sink boat like i always do. the peasents cry and i tell them that communism best form of government and american very bad because poison food. he do not look like believe me so i send him to prison in the siberia to make stalin favorite cereal.

today was good day with lenin, next time he come will be very fun.

Summer is favorite season. I vacation at dacha.
I have peasant bring me their wife so as to make favorite time with. I watch American educational film Caddyshack so as to make learning golf easy. I wear blindfold for drive and play rock and roll heavy metal Journey and dance in fairway. Stalin score have never been lower! I hire homeless peasant to make new grass like American captalist greenskeeper Bill Murray and hunt gopher that I realease on to course!!! Gopher very sneaky and like to hide Stalin golf ball. But Stalin sneaky too! Stalin take gopher family and send them to Siberia where he kill one member for every day golf ball not back. Summer time is most favorite of season!

I get new cow

I get new cow today. It is very big cow. Almost as big as Iron Giant.

I think I name new cow Iron Giant. He is good cow and I let him have room that peasant own. It is for good of country I say. Peasant look very mad but he say nothing because he like Iron Giant.

I have Iron Giant feed Vodka and Raisins to make him very big and good cow.Today I take Iron Giant to place with the train to use the toilet. Many people stop and cry because they say Iron Giant make big mess on gypsy cart. I tell them this is not true, and you listen what I say because it good for you.

Here is picture I make for you of Iron Giant. I think it best picture of all time in world. Better than American artist who practice religion of capitalism. I have hung in museum of good things Stalin do that be build over peasant town of Jew.

Cream Tea Stalin favorite tea.

I would like talk about favorite tea for time. My favorite tea for time is cream tea.

Here is recipe:
1 bag Earl Grey
2 scoop Devonshire cream.
4 Jeroboam Vodka

Mix ingredient in barrel. Have 4 peasant lift to mouth. Is very heavy.

Iron Giant is good film.

I MAKE NEW POST BECAUSE SOMEONE TELL IRON GIANT NO GOOD!!!!

Peasant come in office today tell me stop watch the Iron Giant. He tell me people suffer because of glorious leadership. He say Iron Giant no good it bad film to play while people do not like leadership.

I tell him "no you are the peasant, you cannot say what do!" I take out gun and shoot the pig he favorite time with. Man yell "stop stalin! you shoot my pig with favorite time I do with!" I tell him Iron Giant very good film. I yell at guards and have him taken behind boathouse by Kremlin. His wife come in scream "No Stalin, you are glorious leader but please do not do Stalin." I look at her and be sad, but I know that punishment is right thing to do. I look over and see she knock over plate of bacon on table. I scream "no you do this, you hate iron giant and people die, do you see what you do with the hate of iron giant!?" I call for guards and tell them to throw her in siberian wilds. Maybe there I think she will find how good Iron Giant is too great of film.

I make everyone in Russia have to watch Iron Giant so they know how good it is as film. Many people get angry and make big revolution,  tell them "No! communism is good you must watch Iron Giant because it is good!" they say "No stalin we are hungry." I tell them to watch Iron Giant or I take all food away from them.

Now they know how good Iron Giant is.

Today is start of blog.

I tell you new blog post that is first about stalin morning.

Every morning I wake up to a fresh hot cup of goat milk, it be lined out on the table next to favorite firearm. The aroma fill air reminding me that I now was only pretty princess of all the CCCP in the land.

The serfs place boxed chicken atop a chimney. It face window looking me straight in two eye. Each morning I grab my rifle and fire shots until I know the chicken is dead. This make good prize for giveaway to peasants. I tell myself communism great it best form of government of many peoples.

I spend brunch watching the big Iron Giant play with VCR. I had all memorabilia shipped from the evil American empire. Glorious space program make robot for me in several days of calendar.I too lived life like people, struggle to find bathroom because of too many chicken in office.

Day is like any day. I teach you this because you too can be glorious leader like me. More to come soon in my writing of the blog comrades.